Family pets: they’ve got a paw in your child’s development

Hello! Finding you here reading this post must mean you are currently doing your best raising ‘your herdd’. Or, maybe you’re an animal lover who has already raised your herdd, & they have now joined another flock to raise their own. Or, you are a parent with a kid who is begging you to get animal. You don’t particularly ‘love’ the idea, but you’re thinking about it. You can see the glimmer in little Tommy’s eye when he says “pleeeeeaseee mum, can I get a pet?”

In this post, we’re going to summarise our own reading & experiences to show why involving kids in pet care is an important part of their development, setting them up with well-rounded skills for the future. At HERDD, we are genuine animal lovers, with the following bite size snippets of research resonating deeply with us. Let’s start with three quotes from thought leaders in the Human-Animal Interaction space—

"The simple act of petting an animal can serve as a grounding technique, helping children focus and relax during overwhelming moments... there is no expectation beyond being loved and cared for." — Dr. Alan Beck, Director, Center for the Human-Animal Bond

"Rather than viewing fascination with animals as a childish thing that maturation puts aside, we might see children’s attunement to animals as nature’s gift to our species... childhood should become a time of deepening connection, a time when respectful interest builds on children's intuitive reaching toward animal life." — Dr. Gail Melson, Author & Professor Emerita at Purdue University & pioneer in child-animal research

"A child who learns to care for an animal, and treat it kindly and patiently, may get invaluable training in learning to treat people the same way." — Dr. James Serpell, American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry guidelines, University of Pennsylvania

We all know the story: the kids beg for a puppy, promising to walk it every day, only for Mum or Dad to end up walking it while the kids are on their iPads. But what if we look at pet care not as a fleeting phase, chore or momentary boredom buster, but as a way to instil lasting positive, well-rounded personality traits that will carry into adulthood?

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Involving children in the routine of family pet care is one of the most powerful ways to embed empathy, responsibility, respect & resilient wellbeing. So if you’re ERRR’ing on the side of caution when it comes to adding a small pet to your household, or (if that’s not an option) increasing interaction with animals outside of the home, reflect on the following E.R.R.R traits & set aside some time to illustrate the importance of them to the family, before adopting that new pet—

1. Empathy: the language of "silent" friends

Empathy is the ability to understand how someone else is feeling. For a child, pets are the perfect empathy teachers because they can’t speak—patience, observation & intuition come into play.

When a child notices the dog’s tail is tucked between its legs, the cat is holding a stare or crouching timidly, or the pony has its ears back, they are learning to read non-verbal cues. By asking them, "How do you think Barnaby is feeling today?" or "Does he look like he needs a cuddle or some space?", you are teaching them to look outside themselves—a skill that translates directly to their human social interactive skills. Something an iPad can’t instil.

2. Responsibility: the power of routine

Responsibility isn't learned through a lecture; it’s built through the small, repeated actions of showing up & doing it.

Knowing that another living being is relying on them for nutrition, shelter & security, just like their guardian looks after them. A pet offers a child a rigid routine, simple enough for a 6+ year old child to follow with oversight (of which lessens with time & success in carrying out the daily routine without neglect), & meaningful enough for a teen to continue with on their own: Food at set intervals, clean water at all times, litter tray/toileting, exercise, love & warmth.

This responsibility gives a child a sense of agency & purpose. It teaches them that their actions have a direct impact on their fur-friends wellbeing & will be rewarded with the companionship that their pet provides in return.

A ‘Daily pet routine’ list on the fridge with a ‘gold star’ reward system is a great way to get young members of the family engaged in the upkeep of your family pet. Even better, sitting down & making the list with your kids, together agreeing what needs to be done & when.

3. Respect: understanding meaningful boundaries

Learning that a pet isn't a toy is a vital lesson in respect. Pets have ‘no-go’ zones, just like siblings, friends at school or adults who have their own meaningful boundaries.

There is a right time & place for everything in life. Teaching children to respect an animal's space fosters a deeper understanding of consent & physical autonomy from a very young age. Gentle petting, not pulling tails or launching in to pat a stranger’s dog out on a walk, are all part of learning how to respect the space of pets.

The reward, a happy, content cuddly buddy that loves to play when the time is right.

4. Resilient wellbeing: nature’s biological regulator

The physical act of touch regulates a child's stress & is supported by vast clinical research. Revisiting Dr Alan Beck’s quote from above “the simple act of petting an animal can serve as a grounding technique, helping children focus and relax during overwhelming moments.

Animals can help regulate stress & anxiety in people. Petting an animal isn't just a "feel-good" moment; it’s a biological regulator that helps to reset the nervous system. When a child's hand touches a dog’s coat or the warmth of a cat, a complex chemical & neurological chain reaction begins—we’re going to call it nature’s biological regulator & it has three key parts:

1. The most immediate effect of touch is a shift in the endocrine system. Dr Patricia Pendry, a developmental psychologist studied the effect on these hormones after 10-15 minutes of petting a dog or cat:

• Levels of Oxytocin spiked in the bloodstream. Oxytocin is responsible for calming the stress system, promoting feelings of trust, safety & social bonding.

• Simultaneously, levels of Cortisol plummeted. Cortisol is the ‘stress hormone’ produced by the adrenal glands (contributing to the ‘fight or flight’ response)—lowering levels tells the brain to calm. In children higher levels can present as anxiety, irritability or difficulty focusing. This paper cites a large number of Human-Animal Interaction authors if you’d like to read more.

As a side note, a well cited experiment by Dr. Sandra Barker compared Cortisol reactivity & recovery of therapy dog owners to non-therapy dog owners within a laboratory-based stress task. In summary, both therapy & non-therapy owners experienced a drop in cortisol levels after one minute of interaction with the therapy dog, offsetting their initial increases in cortisol levels from the ‘stress task’ (designed to increase stress levels). In a home setting, interaction with a familiar dog has been found to decrease human cortisol levels (refer here). For more, this article by A. Stevens is super interesting.

2. Emotional control & resilience in a child is also influenced by their Heart Rate Variability (HRV) & the Vagus Nerve:

• Physically touching an animal stimulates the Vagus Nerve, the longest nerve of the autonomic nervous system—key to shaping emotional responses & resilience skills.

• A study showed evidence that petting triggers a response that slows heart rate & lowers blood pressure. HRV, a key marker of a resilient nervous system, can be higher (good) in children who have regular, tactile contact with pets, meaning their bodies are better at ‘bouncing back’ from stressful events (like a bad day at school).

3. For children, who are still developing the ability to regulate their emotions, the sensory input of petting can serve as a grounding technique:

• The brain's Amygdala, is responsible for processing fear. Studies using fNIRS (Functional Near-Infrared Spectroscopy) show that stroking an animal lowers activity in the Amygdala & increases Frontal Cortex activity (responsible for cognitive control & emotional regulation).

• Secondly, feeling the animal's body warmth, its steady breathing rhythm, & texture of its coat provide a rhythmic sensory anchor, helping a person move from a chaotic emotional state into the present moment (you might think of this as mindfulness, & if you’re an animal-lover, you may know this feeling well).

There are numerous other clinical studies supporting the positive effects on mental & physical health from Human-Animal Interaction, including this one.

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Essentially, a child who craves a close, cuddly, affectionate, nonjudgmental relationship, can find it in their dog, cat or other pet. If allergies or space prevent you from welcoming a dog or cat into your home, their are other pint-sized options like rabbits, reptiles, fish, or guinea pigs. If none are an option, visit family animal parks, cat cafes or dog/cat shows, or community offerings such as animal-shelter volunteering, the RDA or friends with animals. These are all ways to increase the frequency of interactions your kids have with animals. It doesn’t have to be long as the studies show, as little as 15 minutes can be enough. But please remember, approach dog parks & stranger’s dogs with caution, & always ask the owner before patting a dog. Not all dog’s accept strangers into their space (i.e. the lesson of respect).

Lastly, for a unique chicken experience, we’ve come across a cool little Auckland based business “Living Eggs NZ” that operates throughout Auckland schools, care homes & play centres. They host a two week program that provides everything the classroom needs to successfully hatch chickens from embryo eggs to incubators & brooder boxes.

I enjoyed thinking more deeply about why animals are so important to me (HERDD’s founder), so hope you did too. We are so lucky to have animals that we can call our own in our lives.